Bushface Ducks Inc. would like to directly address the ongoing rumors regarding the municipal drainage systems of Cleveland, Portland, and Greater London.
The 1994 Ultra-Foliage Autumn Collector's Pack featured an upgraded, hyper-realistic pine-needle and oak-leaf face trim, attached using our experimental “Nature-Grip” water-soluble resin. It was our understanding that bathwater in the western hemisphere rarely exceeded 102 degrees Fahrenheit. However, it appears that high-temperature soak enthusiast communities have triggered an unforeseen dissolution of the adhesive, leading to the sudden shedding of millions of synthetic pine needles directly into municipal sewer lines.
+------------------------------------------------------------------+ | OFFICIAL RECALL METRICS | +------------------------------+-----------------------------------+ | Total Units Shedded | 1,420,000 Ducks | | Pine Needles Recovered | 8.4 Tons | | Plumbers Dispatched | 3,100 Personnel | | Corporate Apology Budget | $4.2 Million | +------------------------------+-----------------------------------+
We wish to state unequivocally that at no point did the shed needles pose a sentient environmental threat, despite claims made by local media outlets regarding “the self-assembling leafy sludge monster of Lake Erie.” That was a natural algae bloom that happened to coincide with our product shipment. We are rectifying the issue by transitioning all future Bushface foliage attachments to industrial-grade ultrasonic weld points.