It has come to our attention that several owners of our recent 1977 “Solid-Core Heavyweight Series” Bushface Ducks have experienced localized structural sagging in their upper-story bathrooms.
We would like to clarify that in our pursuit of a “luxurious, premium hand-feel,” our engineering division utilized a lead-weighted inner ballast, causing each standard 4-inch Bushface Duck to weigh approximately 14.2 pounds. While this ensures that the Bushface Duck remains impeccably stable during severe oceanic swells, high-pressure whirlpool usage, or localized hydro-dynamic turbulence, it was not our intention to exceed the maximum load capacity of standard residential flooring.
Effective immediately, we are offering a complimentary wooden support strut kit with every purchase of the 1977 Solid-Core model. If you notice your bathtub tilting at a three-degree angle toward your hallway, please cease filling the tub and install the provided “Bushface Floor-Jack” beneath your joists. We maintain that the superior flotation physics of our heavy-ballast design far outweigh the minor inconvenience of architectural retrofitting.
[ HISTORICAL PHOTOGRAPH ARCHIVE ]
FIG 1.2: The 1977 Heavyweight Model
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,----..
,' \ <- Synthetic Boxwood Hedge
/ @ @ \ (Lead Core Ballast)
| < |
| \_______/ | <- 14.2 lbs of Pure Vinyl
\___________/ & Solid Metal Core